Chapstick King

My family knows I am the chapstick king. I always – always – have a chapstick in my pocket. Thinking back on it, I always have – at least since my high school days. It’s probably all in my head, but when I leave my chapstick at home my lips start hurting right away and in a few hours they are a mess. A doctor would probably tell me to drink less caffeine, or something like that. I’d rather just carry a chapstick around. Lots of men carry a pocket knife. Most women carry makeup and Kleenex. I carry a chapstick. Someday the president of the company (Mr. Chap) will ring my doorbell, and hand me the keys to a new moped - for being their most faithful customer. It might even be shaped like a giant chapstick. I would ride it.