Neckties

I have almost 70 neckties, and most of them are silk. They hang artfully in my closet on an electric, illuminated, rotating tie rack. Nothing in my life makes me feel more like an American. I bought less than ten of them, the rest came as gifts from a dear sister in law. Though I complain about wearing ties 5-6 days a week, the truth is that I enjoy dressing well. Mark Twain was once asked why he always wore his signature white linen suits. He responded, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” A visit to any water park or public pool clearly demonstrates that most people look better dressed up than not.
One does wonder, though, how the practice began. Why humans wear pants and shirts is pretty self-explanatory, but neckties? The internet says Chinese royalty started the practice almost two hundred years before the birth of Christ. Then the practice disappeared for a while, only to start again around the 1600’s. Weird how history works. And who decided the tying process for these things? In the same way that you can’t tickle yourself, you can’t easily tie a necktie for someone else. I’m afraid to even try a bowtie – who knows how those operate? Maybe the aliens that helped build the Egyptian pyramids and those huge heads on Easter Island had something to do with neckties. Your guess is as good as mine.