Umbrellas
I rarely use umbrellas. I think their main value is for women and the English. If I had to walk for hours in the rain, as the English do, it would make sense. When I am darting from the car to the store, it doesn't. I won't melt. Women's hair, I am told, does indeed melt when it gets wet. They spend hours doing their hair and make-up, and a good rainstorm kills both. Van Morrison sang, "All the girls walk by dressed up for each other -- While the boys do the boogie-woogie out in the street." Rain doesn't hurt real men. It's just water, right? In a few minutes it will evaporate. So if you aren't English, or female, and if your race through the storm is less than thirty seconds long -- be a man, and leave the umbrella in the car.