Spring
Spring is my favorite season. I like to see things waking up, turning green, coming back to life. I don’t understand how autumn, when everything is dying, can be anyone’s favorite time of year. I love being warm, and despise being cold. Part of being tall is having poor circulation to the extremities, which means numb fingers and toes when I’m outside. I hate that. I also don’t like wearing a knit cap to keep my head warm, then taking it off and having my hair look horrible. I don’t carry a comb or brush with me, so I hope that doing my hair once in the morning lasts me for the whole day. I feel sorry for women that always have to redo their hair, but I am glad that they do it. Another great part of spring is that I’m a guy. For guys, spring means power tools – mowers, blowers, edgers, weeders, sprinklers, etc. Most guys are happy when they tools to play with, and spring does that for us. It smells good and feels good to get oil, gasoline, and grease all over ourselves. Men were made to smell like petroleum products. Women were meant to smell like perfume and cookies. God set us up like that. I don’t question it, I just go with the flow.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Caffeine
I recently gave up pop for Lent. I’m not Catholic, but seeing if you have the discipline to give up something you like is an interesting exercise. Since I quit pop short-term, I’m considering making it a permanent deletion. Having more money in my pocket, and less chemicals in my body, seems like a good idea. I am cheating a little, though, by drinking more iced tea than ever. I can make tea at home, but can’t produce diet Dr Pepper in my kitchen. Years ago, I had some minor success with making homemade root beer. I quit that, though, because root beer doesn’t have caffeine in it. That’s why Mormons avoid pop, but drink gallons of root beer. For them, Mountain Dew is “right out” (Monty Python). I truly love caffeine. It is the one thing I will admit being addicted to. Caffeine is Magical Stuff. I tried to quit caffeine a couple of times, but the constant yawning was embarrassing. “No, you don’t bore me. I just haven’t had any pop yet, today. OK, you do bore me – but only a little.” I don’t understand the point of coffees and teas that are decaffeinated. Neither taste that good naturally, without being doctored up a little. They are acquired tastes, to give us a delivery vehicle for caffeine. Most of us did way too much caffeine in our college years, but the body can shunt more abuse when we’re young. If caffeine was your only abuse in college, you did far better than most.
I recently gave up pop for Lent. I’m not Catholic, but seeing if you have the discipline to give up something you like is an interesting exercise. Since I quit pop short-term, I’m considering making it a permanent deletion. Having more money in my pocket, and less chemicals in my body, seems like a good idea. I am cheating a little, though, by drinking more iced tea than ever. I can make tea at home, but can’t produce diet Dr Pepper in my kitchen. Years ago, I had some minor success with making homemade root beer. I quit that, though, because root beer doesn’t have caffeine in it. That’s why Mormons avoid pop, but drink gallons of root beer. For them, Mountain Dew is “right out” (Monty Python). I truly love caffeine. It is the one thing I will admit being addicted to. Caffeine is Magical Stuff. I tried to quit caffeine a couple of times, but the constant yawning was embarrassing. “No, you don’t bore me. I just haven’t had any pop yet, today. OK, you do bore me – but only a little.” I don’t understand the point of coffees and teas that are decaffeinated. Neither taste that good naturally, without being doctored up a little. They are acquired tastes, to give us a delivery vehicle for caffeine. Most of us did way too much caffeine in our college years, but the body can shunt more abuse when we’re young. If caffeine was your only abuse in college, you did far better than most.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Hello, goodbye
“Have a day,” the cashier quipped as I picked up my bag to leave. I didn’t think about it till I got to the car. What does that mean? Is it too difficult to add one more word – like “nice” or “good?” Since then, several others have generically wished me “a day.” It’s supposed to be witty, I guess, but it irritates me. The reality is we don’t always know how to say hello and goodbye to each other. Mostly we are in too big a hurry to get gone. What’s the point of asking, “Fine, and how are YOU?” if we don’t stay around to hear the answer? Should we change our hellos and goodbyes to “Yo!,” “Wassup,” and “Later?” Do we want to go back to “fare thee well” and “may the devil take thee, then?” The Beatles sang, “I don’t know why you say goodbye – I said hello.” Groucho Marx sang, “Hello, I must be going.” Well, I guess that’s about . . .
“Have a day,” the cashier quipped as I picked up my bag to leave. I didn’t think about it till I got to the car. What does that mean? Is it too difficult to add one more word – like “nice” or “good?” Since then, several others have generically wished me “a day.” It’s supposed to be witty, I guess, but it irritates me. The reality is we don’t always know how to say hello and goodbye to each other. Mostly we are in too big a hurry to get gone. What’s the point of asking, “Fine, and how are YOU?” if we don’t stay around to hear the answer? Should we change our hellos and goodbyes to “Yo!,” “Wassup,” and “Later?” Do we want to go back to “fare thee well” and “may the devil take thee, then?” The Beatles sang, “I don’t know why you say goodbye – I said hello.” Groucho Marx sang, “Hello, I must be going.” Well, I guess that’s about . . .
Monday, March 10, 2008
Reigning cats and dogs
My wife says when she was growing up, if the cat was in your chair then you sat somewhere else. My raising was slightly different. My dad once said we should feed the cat to the dog, then shoot the dog. We all grew up with animals, though, and our lives are the richer for it. I find it tragic to see a child who is afraid of animals. One of my brothers said you shouldn’t be allowed to raise a child, until you have proven you can raise a well-adjusted puppy.
When you are gone for two hours, your dog will greet you like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen. He will also sniff you all over, to determine what experiences you have encountered since he saw you last. If you take a two week vacation, when you come home the cat won’t notice you’ve been gone. “Oh, did you step out for a while? Didn’t notice. The water bowl could use a little refreshing, though.” The catbox became my duty when my wife was pregnant with our first child. “Hey, there’s a disease in there that could kill our kid!” Now it’s 25 years later, and I still have catbox duty. Maybe my dad was partially right after all.
We said goodbye this week to one of our dogs. I still see her all over the house, and keep thinking I hear her walking around. I miss her. Rest well, Mysti. You were a joy!
My wife says when she was growing up, if the cat was in your chair then you sat somewhere else. My raising was slightly different. My dad once said we should feed the cat to the dog, then shoot the dog. We all grew up with animals, though, and our lives are the richer for it. I find it tragic to see a child who is afraid of animals. One of my brothers said you shouldn’t be allowed to raise a child, until you have proven you can raise a well-adjusted puppy.
When you are gone for two hours, your dog will greet you like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen. He will also sniff you all over, to determine what experiences you have encountered since he saw you last. If you take a two week vacation, when you come home the cat won’t notice you’ve been gone. “Oh, did you step out for a while? Didn’t notice. The water bowl could use a little refreshing, though.” The catbox became my duty when my wife was pregnant with our first child. “Hey, there’s a disease in there that could kill our kid!” Now it’s 25 years later, and I still have catbox duty. Maybe my dad was partially right after all.
We said goodbye this week to one of our dogs. I still see her all over the house, and keep thinking I hear her walking around. I miss her. Rest well, Mysti. You were a joy!
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