Chapstick King
My family knows I am the chapstick king. I always – always – have a chapstick in my pocket. Thinking back on it, I always have – at least since my high school days. It’s probably all in my head, but when I leave my chapstick at home my lips start hurting right away and in a few hours they are a mess. A doctor would probably tell me to drink less caffeine, or something like that. I’d rather just carry a chapstick around. Lots of men carry a pocket knife. Most women carry makeup and Kleenex. I carry a chapstick. Someday the president of the company (Mr. Chap) will ring my doorbell, and hand me the keys to a new moped - for being their most faithful customer. It might even be shaped like a giant chapstick. I would ride it.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Rubber pants
I love to ride my bicycle, but I’m not manic about it. I don’t ride it when it is raining, or snowing, or when I would get heat stroke after a few miles. My feeling is that my bike is there for me to enjoy, and not the other way around. I also haven’t bought any rubber bicycle clothes, nor do I plan to do so anytime soon. Gotta give props, though, to a couple I met a few weeks ago. They came into my hospital’s ER from a bike crash, wearing matching rubber clothes. For some this might seem silly, but this couple was in their early 70’s! They are doing fine, but some of their rubber clothes got chopped up by the scissor-happy nurses in the ER. If you don’t know about that, it’s because of a closely guarded secret about hospitals. Here’s all you need to know – always wear clean underwear, just like your mom told you to.
I love to ride my bicycle, but I’m not manic about it. I don’t ride it when it is raining, or snowing, or when I would get heat stroke after a few miles. My feeling is that my bike is there for me to enjoy, and not the other way around. I also haven’t bought any rubber bicycle clothes, nor do I plan to do so anytime soon. Gotta give props, though, to a couple I met a few weeks ago. They came into my hospital’s ER from a bike crash, wearing matching rubber clothes. For some this might seem silly, but this couple was in their early 70’s! They are doing fine, but some of their rubber clothes got chopped up by the scissor-happy nurses in the ER. If you don’t know about that, it’s because of a closely guarded secret about hospitals. Here’s all you need to know – always wear clean underwear, just like your mom told you to.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Postage Increase
Postage rates are going up again, causing the regular ranters to go at it again. I won’t join them. Like you, I wish postage and everything else would stay the same price. It never has, though, so let’s get over it. Postage is still one of the biggest bargains in the country. For less than fifty cents someone will come to my actual home, take a card out of my mailbox, fly it on a multi-million dollar airplane anywhere – get this – anywhere – in the nation, then hand deliver it to the person I choose. Not in six weeks, not even two weeks, but in two or three days! Amazing! I don’t know about you, but there are precious few things I would do for fifty cents. The US mail would be a bargain even if it cost a dollar per letter. So, please, spare me the whiners that cry over spending an extra penny. They need to get a life.
Postage rates are going up again, causing the regular ranters to go at it again. I won’t join them. Like you, I wish postage and everything else would stay the same price. It never has, though, so let’s get over it. Postage is still one of the biggest bargains in the country. For less than fifty cents someone will come to my actual home, take a card out of my mailbox, fly it on a multi-million dollar airplane anywhere – get this – anywhere – in the nation, then hand deliver it to the person I choose. Not in six weeks, not even two weeks, but in two or three days! Amazing! I don’t know about you, but there are precious few things I would do for fifty cents. The US mail would be a bargain even if it cost a dollar per letter. So, please, spare me the whiners that cry over spending an extra penny. They need to get a life.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Compu Love
For years, I’ve thought I could be Amish – for a two week period. The discipline of hard work, an unplugged lifestyle, hearty food and fellowship – that seemed attractive to me. I’ve changed my mind. I couldn’t do it. I would miss my current lifestyle so much, but mainly I would miss my computer. It’s tragic, but I am addicted to my computer, and I admit it. It is very hard for me to go one day without using a computer. When ours crashed recently, it was torture. It isn’t just searching the internet, either. I love it all – the email, the constant news, the political buzz. I love to write and read, and prefer to do both on the computer. I love that my world is pre-digested, and feed to me in small bits. I often sit in front of my computer and ask, “What can you tell me today?” On TV, content is fed at their speed. On my computer, I set the speed and content. I love that. I’m a tech-type pig, but the Amish only eat meat-type pigs – so I’m cool with that.
For years, I’ve thought I could be Amish – for a two week period. The discipline of hard work, an unplugged lifestyle, hearty food and fellowship – that seemed attractive to me. I’ve changed my mind. I couldn’t do it. I would miss my current lifestyle so much, but mainly I would miss my computer. It’s tragic, but I am addicted to my computer, and I admit it. It is very hard for me to go one day without using a computer. When ours crashed recently, it was torture. It isn’t just searching the internet, either. I love it all – the email, the constant news, the political buzz. I love to write and read, and prefer to do both on the computer. I love that my world is pre-digested, and feed to me in small bits. I often sit in front of my computer and ask, “What can you tell me today?” On TV, content is fed at their speed. On my computer, I set the speed and content. I love that. I’m a tech-type pig, but the Amish only eat meat-type pigs – so I’m cool with that.
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