Whatsa Covet?
We didn’t know what they were, but most houses in our ‘hood had one in their yard. First, we were curious. Then we wondered what they had that we didn’t. Then we wanted one, because apparently folks should have one. Then it made us angry -- they had one, and we didn’t. Now we have one of our very own – a Japanese beetle trap. When the neighbors put empty boxes out for the trash, and we see they have a new TV or fun toy, it starts again. But then I remember that pesky line in the Ten Commandments . . .

Done well
I’m in that small category of straight men who don’t watch a lot of sports. I was never very good at them, and the years have not made me any quicker. I ride my bike and play tennis, and that’s about it. I’m impressed, though, by those who know how to play, and play well. To watch the Williams sisters hammer away at the recent Wimbledon match was a wonder. They don’t play like I do. They slam each ball as hard as they can (117mph serves!), grunting or yelling with each hit. And they do that in the heat for 2-3 hours, and don't pass out! I used to say I played tennis like a woman, but one of my opponents said, “No Ken – most women play better than you do.” Sadly, it’s true. I love to play, but I’m no Williams sister. Guess it’s good there’s only room in the world for two of them.

Fireworks
There’s probably nothing more financially inefficient than fireworks. How else can you blow $100 in less than an hour, and have absolutely nothing left to show for it? With food and drink, you at least feel full and satisfied. With fireworks, you’re left wanting even more – oh, is it over already? That’s part of the reason why I love them so much. With fireworks, I have great memories instead –my grandmother getting buzzed by a bottle rocket, our driveway catching on fire, the unexpected sonic boom of the scudbuster shell that rocked our ‘hood, the slug that landed in my mouth, the folks who laugh uncontrollably when one goes bad. Fireworks – inefficient – wonderful. I love them!